The Plaid of Christmas Past

While sorting through some photos looking for ones for what I thought might be a new post, I stumbled across a number of Tartan drenched vanity shots from Christmas week, and decided that timeliness, or lack of it, should be no deterrent in discussing them. I sure do like the old Scottish weave.

I think I took this photo for a post about understatement in holiday dress. However, upon review I can see that their is nothing understated about this. Big bad black watch plaid, splashed across a flannel jacket, which is actually half of a suit, wide 1970s lapels and all. True, a white square and solid navy blue wool tie may have had the chance to hold things in check, but the by now infamous custom shirt and collar pin have other things to say about it.

This ensemble, for a night on the job Christmas Eve is far more traditional, and perhaps wearable. A knitted merino wool vest in goldenrod and a lightly hued tartan Viyella tie actually are anchored this time with a navy flannel blazer and charcoal slacks.

Christmas Day, on the other hand, is no time to mess around. What else is a guy going to do with a pair of pants such as these? Don't half step with this stuff. Wear them like you mean it, behave as though such garments are completely normal, and get down on the floor to assist two children still clad in their pyjamas mid-afternoon in the construction of a new model train set. Because thats what holidays, and plaid pants, are for.

Happy New Year.

Reader Questions: Old Shoes

I find nearly everything I own in a thrift store. While it's true that years of experience and practice have led me to a fair degree of success in this, the fact remains that some items are simply easier to come by than others. Take ties, for example. Once you stumble into a honey-hole, you tend to find that 99 cent neckwear is fairly abundant. They don't experience the wear and tear of other items, being purely decorative. Shoes, on the other hand, are another beast entirely.

photo: mirror.co.uk

Reader Don asks:
I have a question about buying shoes. I've read about reshaping and all of that, so I know there are some restoration options, but how worn is too worn? Any tips on buying used dress shoes? All I've seen around town so far are very creased and discolored.

Good quality shoes in good condition are perhaps the hardest thing of all for a man to find in a thrift shop. For obvious reasons, shoes are the clothing item exposed to the harshest wear and tear. We walk in them, on pavement. We scuff them against things. They get sweaty on the inside. We wear them on our feet for extended periods of time, often for periods lasting years. A favorite pair is a treasured item, even for people who don't realize or won't admit it, and so they are often the last things we want to part with. Men tend to wear their shoes until they fall to pieces.

Besides all this, shoes are submitted to undue abuse in the processing phase between donation and selling time. Think of it: a guy decides to donate some shoes, and they get tossed in a garbage bag along with a bunch of other stuff. The thrift shop gets them, and tosses them loose in an industrial hamper with a million other pairs. They may get sorted through a number of these bins, always tossed in with a heap of other shoes. Maybe they get tied together in pairs by the laces. Maybe not. Eventually, they go out for sale some place. A sordid affair.

This may be bleak news for the man cracked enough (like me) to dedicate obscene amounts of time and effort into acquiring a closet full of the rich man's cast offs, but there is a bright side. Good shoes are made to last a long time, and hence are worth repair, and the best shoes tend to be owned by those who take care of them, and thus have more years left in them if given a little repair.

Quality leather can take a beating, so all is not lost. As with anything, look for quality and don't settle for junk. This is especially true with shoes. Not only do crappy shoes look bad and have a cheesy feel to them, they're uncomfortable as well. Steer clear of stuff that was crap in the first place...it will have only gotten crappier.

So, how worn is to worn is the real question. The answer depends largely on whether you have access to a good cobbler.  If the answer is yes, then it's a good bet that shoes that many might consider wrecked are your goldmine. Worn heels, holes in the sole, or soles breaking away from the shoe, as well as peeling linings or stitching that's come loose, are all things that your cobbler can put right. It won't be cheap, though, so you have to decide what you're willing to invest. I might buy a pair of quality shoes by Allen Edmonds or Alden for less than $10, then pay the cobbler up to $100 to repair them. For me, $110 is short change for fine shoes. $110 buys junk new at DSW. Catch my drift?

Some shoes are just over the hill. Avoid anything with holes or cracks in the leather itself. Creases in the leather are not always the kiss of death, as polish and mink oil, plus a good pair of cedar shoe trees, can usually fix this, but a hole is a deal breaker. The vast majority of shoes at thrift stores were worthless to begin with, and junk is junk. I won't buy it new, I certainly won't buy it old. The rule of persistence in thrift shopping is of exponential importance when it comes to shoes, but when it pays off, it tends to do so in spades. Be patient.

Having said all that, if there's one thing worth coughing up full retail for, besides the requisite socks and underwear, its good shoes. They may be expensive, but good ones will last a very long time, and your $15 suit and 99 cent tie will look infinitely better when complimented by proper shoes. In fact, I'm gearing up for a new pair or two myself, likely to be the topic of a new "Worth Every Penny" post.

So, in closing, George Harrison, on vinyl :



p.s. don't forget the sale in the Shop. 15% off all orders over $50 through midnight Saturday. Use discount code NEWYEAR2012 at checkout.

The Jams

In the old days, I worked in a down and dirty crazy thrift shop. We had a record department. Not like we just sold records, we actually had a full blast record department, and I was in charge of it. This meant that besides organizing and pricing all the records, it was also my job to go out and find them. I loved it. Once, when I was out scouring the globe for slabs of vinyl, at the tender age of 24, anno Domini 2000 or so, I acquired a heap of r&b for the shop. Among it was the self titled first album by Funkadelic.

By this time in my life, I had heard of Parliament Funkadelic, or "P-Funk". I knew all about George Clinton. Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg had made my generation aware of them. But 1969 era original Funkadelic was something else entirely. Sure, the outrageous outfits and showmanship of the later years would steal the show, what with Bootsy Collins and all. But this old stuff was raw, simple, drect and grimy. Funk in its purest, undistilled form. Funk driven by gospel harmony, Hammond organs, Fender and Gibson guitars, and Gretsch drums. Funk that still has the stink of Jazz on its boot heel. Funk with a meaning far deeper than simple goof ball, pimped out party jams. I was hooked the minute I got this record home, and 10 years later it remains a precious favorite. In all these years, its the only record I know of that can actually make you feel a little like you've been smoking weed, given of course that you know what that's like in the first place.

Godammit.

correction: Rogers drums, not Gretsch. Equally good, if not better.

p.s. A black man in a purple satin KKK robe with police style sunglasses. How are you gonna argue with that?



Sale!

An Affordable Wardrobe Shop is having an end of year sale!

From now until midnight Saturday, 31 December, all orders over $50 are 15% off. Use discount code NEWYEAR2012 at checkout. All orders received by the end of the sale will ship Wednesday, 4 January via USPS priority mail.

Joy in the Air...

Sure, I work retail and I may have groused more than a bit about Christmas meaning all work and no play for a guy like me, but at the last minute, humanity comes through. The kind owner of the Indian/Nepali restaurant across the street gave us dinner on the house, a delicious lamb tikka masala, and a co-worker/friend, who happens to be something of a nerdly collector, generously shared some selections from his private cellar...

...not least of which was this bottle of 1860 rye whiskey (more on that later, ethereal). Yes, it's real, and yes, it's delicious.

Enjoy the holiday, one and all. We'll be back sometime next week with new installments of your beloved superficial drivel.

The Jams

"Jingle Bells" is not a Christmas song. It's a Winter Jam written in in a bar in Medford, Massachusetts, not far from wher I have lived all my life, in  1857. It's about drinking and driving and picking up girls, in an innocent, 19th century New England kind of way (not kidding). You know, a party song.

I bet these two drank that whole bowl of punch between them in an hour, then took the Cadillac out for a spin. Probably left the car in a ditch and wound up in a casino. Same idea.

Holiday Cheer

Given the fact that Christmas is a mere few days off, it occurs to me that there has been a real lack of holiday cheer around here. The reasons for that are twofold. First, it's been unseasonably warm here in Massachusetts for months. Everyone around me seems to love this, but not I. This is a clothing blog, after all, and my best stuff is the Winter goods, including my extensive collection of wool Tartan trousers, none of which have gotten any use this season. Secondly, being in retail, this season means less fun and more work for me, and little else. Good thing I've got the kids to keep me cheery.

Anyway, I did actually manage to get invited to and attend one Christmas party last weekend, so the custom holiday shirt got at least one airing:

Worn with a navy emblematic tie, and a 6x2 double breasted navy blazer. The double breasted helps keep this relatively in check, with it's high closure point. See, maybe not as silly as you thought.

Silk knot cuff links. Shiny metal would have been way too much, in an outfit that is likely already way too much.

 

Charcoal flannels and black shoes. Bright red socks at a Christmas party are de rigeur. The perfect ensemble for drinking too much Scotch and stumbling home. Ho Ho Ho!

p.s. new items in the Shop. I've been a busy little elf this month.